do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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