I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
