So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize