I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize