it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What a dumb baby whore.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
