it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There's even glitter on my cock...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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