Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
