So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
