There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
