remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
