I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
