K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
