Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
