have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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