Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize