Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Still dying that you shit outside
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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