I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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