what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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