we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
