Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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