"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
