i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
