Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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