Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
