Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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