hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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