So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
