bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My feet surprised me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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