Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
