I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
