so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
