I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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