Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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