well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
