Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
