I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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