Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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