I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
