the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
where am i from again
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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