Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
...so i touched it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
