i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
