Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Pants are for mortals
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
