You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
