She announced her abortion via fbk
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
