I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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