your parents love me but you hate me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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