Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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