Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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