so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
