you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
