This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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