Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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