sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
