My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize