My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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