So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize