Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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