Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
