you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
