yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
