Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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