Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
